Romantic Relationship jokes — Laugh With Us

All of us like to laugh from time to time. Here we offer a growing collection of humorous romantic relationship jokes. Use these jokes to create laughter through humor in your relationship.

Try some of these ideas with these romantic relationship jokes.

a)    Add a relationship joke to a love note for example in their lunch box. Link together the ideas of laughter and thoughts of you as a fun person.

b)   Share a romantic relationship joke with him or her in a letter when you are temporarily separated a business trip or in a long distance relationship.

c)   Looking for a clean but relevant romantic relationship joke for a speech on some special occasion. Steal one of these jokes adapting as necessary.

Our offering of humorous romantic relationship jokes follows although other jokes are being added regularly for your attention.

• Include poems, jokes, stories of your daily life, the list is endless!
• When your partner is out of town, send him/her a good-night postcard, with promises of how you will celebrate his/her return!
• Send your partner a picture of his/her favorite flowers. Send a Love Quote that describes your feelings.
• Announce your engagement to your friends and family by sending a postcard with your photo!
• Write a poem for your sweetheart, and send one line a day in a postcard. “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways…” You will find a number of romantic love poems at Http://LovePoemsCentral.com
• Tell your partner all the reasons you love him/her by sending one a day in a postcard. What a wonderful way for him/her to start the day!
• If “your song” is among the music available to include in your postcard, make it your signature to attach the song to your postcard.
• Send hints of your upcoming date in postcards daily for a week before your date.
• Pretend to be a “Secret Admirer” and send your partner a postcard, inviting him/her to meet for a Pina Colada. Sign it using your pet name.

Alanna Webb is a writer, web developer, and lifelong diehard romantic. Her former websites, including LoveStories, have received major media attention. Her passions include her two Shih Tzus, movies, and reading. She may be reached by email.

Use emails to keep in touch Discover how to write romantic and sexy emails where ever you are and whenever you are apart. Make sure they know you are thinking about them go to our write romantic or sexy love letters page.

Understand what romantic chemistry is!

If you’ve never really felt strong chemistry with another person, it can be hard to get an idea of what it is. What most people call chemistry is a sense that the two of you are just meant to be together. You’re both perfectly at ease with each other and have a strong physical attraction for each other. While it might have something to do with looks and pheromones, most of it is mental. It comes from you and your sweetie having the same beliefs, dreams, and maybe even habits and pet peeves.

Developing a relationship rapport as a couple!

Before you can build up any chemistry within a relationship, you need to have a good rapport first. If you’ve only seen each other for one or two dates, that rapport may not quite be there yet. To create it, look for a conversation topic you can really bond over. Just make sure it’s something pleasant and low-stress, though. You may discover you both love discussing ways to end famine in Africa, but that subject doesn’t help your partner associate you with pleasure and fun.

Use humor in your romantic relationships!

Laughter is not only fun, it also makes us feel at ease with another person. You don’t have to be a professional comedian. Even an attempt at humor in your own style can work. Just keep it clean and neutral so you don’t offend your date right off the bat. See our section on Romantic humor

Adrenaline is your friend in any romantic relationship!

Studies have shown that couples who met in an exciting situation—whether pleasurable or not—tend to find each other more attractive. More so than couples who met under normal circumstances. It works because the mind associates any excitement with the person we’re with at the time and mistakes it for physical attraction. Make use of this by planning a date that will get the adrenaline pumping like a scary movie, a rollercoaster ride, or even whitewater rafting.

Express yourself as part of the couple!

You can’t have chemistry in relationships with people who don’t know the real you. Instead of keeping your opinions to yourself in hopes of hiding anything your partner might not like about you, make it a point to share your thoughts and feelings about important issues. Sometimes just a single off-hand comment can make your date fall for you hard.

Enhance the physical in a relationship!

Some tips for how to increase chemistry in relationships will tell you to touch your date lightly on the knee or arm early on. Take care with that, though. Get physical too early on and you could just end up turning your partner off you. Instead, start by just talking about what physical features you each find most attractive in the opposite sex and then using the info you gain to your advantage. But don’t make all the points you find attractive features she does have. For example if the girl has shork dark hair men should not say he is fascinated by girls with long blond hair.

Chemistry in a romantic relationships may be mysterious and hard to control, but that doesn’t mean you can’t help it along a little. Make sure you start with a good rapport, throw in a little humor and excitement and you’ll be off to a good start.

Roses are about romance and enjoying the moment they are given and received. I’ve discovered some fun ways to use roses to create a stimulating day or night.

So read through this list of fun rose goodies.  Spice up your relationship and turn an ordinary day into an extraordinary day you will both remember.  Select your favorite and have fun!

1. Send your partner a dozen roses of their favorite color along with a check for a hundred kisses.
2. Order a dozen roses, eleven red and one white. In your personal message write something like: “In every bunch there’s one that stands out – and you are that one”.
3. Want your partners’ eyes to glow? Order a bouquet of different colored roses and place each one in a different place in your home. Where you place the dozen roses, also place a small card (decorate it nicely if you like) where it will state the meaning of each colored rose and how that meaning fits in with your lives.
4. When you pick up your partner have a single rose waiting on the passenger seat for him/her. He/she will be pleasantly surprised but the real surprise is yet to come… Have two dozen roses waiting at home.
5. Give a bunch of long stem roses for no reason. That will sure surprise.
6. Dress your bed with a white satin cover and scatter red rose petals all over. Light candles, put some soft music, have fun!
7. Order 11 roses and in the bouquet put an artificial one that looks real. On your card write something like: “I will love you till the last rose withers.”
8. Get a journal (buy the same color journal to go with the color of roses you are going to send) and fill it with romantic quotes and love poems. Tie a ribbon around the book and give to your partner along with your dozen rose gift.
9. Another variation to buying a journal and filling it with quotes is to write all the memorable moments you have shared and how you felt during those times. Like the first time you met, etc. Telling the other person how you feel always makes that person feel special. Of course accompany this with a beautiful bouquet of roses, or even one long stem rose.
10. Send your partner a dozen roses – Surprise number one. When they’re wilted, turn the rose petals into potpourri, put in a nice decorative box and this is surprise number two. Your partner will be delighted with your thoughtfulness.
11. For this valentine’s day I received a dozen roses. So the last thing I was expecting was to receive another bunch a week and a half later. What my boyfriend had done (and it was a great surprise) was to lay the petals of the old roses in the shape of a huge heart in our living room which would be the first thing I would see when I came home from work. In the middle of the heart he had placed a vase with different colored roses. I loved it!
12. Leave a trail of roses leading from the front door to the dinning room where you have laid the table with fine dining wear and candles ready to enjoy a romantic dinner. Leave another trail of roses leading from the dining room to the bedroom. Scatter some red rose petals on your bed.
13. Write a long love letter telling your partner why you love him/her. List in it all their good qualities. Write down all the things he/she does that makes you feel special. Write down how you see your future together and anything else you can think of. A better idea would be to write all this stuff in a journal so it can keep longer. Accompany with a dozen of their favorite colored roses. If you not sure about how to write a romantic love letter I suggest going to http://LoveLettersCentral.com/ for tips on how to do this. If you want to take a nice easy shortcut to write really sexy emails or letters go direct to http://loveLetterscentral.com/writesexyemails



14. Write a love letter to your partner and put it into an attractive glass bottle. Fill the tub and scent it with your favorite aromatic bath oil(s). Scatter in a few rose petals and put the bottle in the tub. Let your partner discover it for themselves when they get into the tub.
15. Give your partner 11 roses and tape the last one to the mirror of your bathroom. Tell him/her to go to the bathroom where they will see the last rose along with your message that says ‘these are the 2 most beautiful things in the world.’
16. Buy a bunch of different colored artificial roses. On each rose write what each color represents. These roses will last forever and your partner when they look at them will always be pleasantly reminded of the first time they receive them.
17. Place a rose on the windshield of your partner’s car which they will see and be delighted by before they leave for work. This will make them think beautiful thoughts about you all day. Then when they get home, present them with the rest of the 11 roses.
18. Lay a white sheet on the floor of your bedroom/living room or wherever else. Scatter rose petals on it, place candles around the sheet, put on soft music and have your partner lay there and give them a massage.
19. If you have a spare key to your partners car and know where they park during the day, while they are at work, put a bunch of roses in the car seat along with a note. They will be pleasantly surprised that you were there during the day.
20. Present your partner with 10 red roses and 2 white roses. Write in the card something along the lines of “You will never be alone”
21. Two weeks before valentine’s day, send your partner a rose for every day leading up to the big day. For the day arrange to do something you don’t usually do as a special treat to celebrate.
22. Make a list of the qualities you love about your partner. Write each one individually on a small card and hang off each rose.

About The Author Copyright © Gina Stathopoulos

Looking for new ways of “putting passion back into a relationship” read Kara’s new book Marriage Made Easy.  if you are thinking I am not married don’t worry this book is about the relationship not your marital status.

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Attending a wedding soon and you still don’t know what to give the couple-to be? Tired of the usually home appliances or home décor? Please, not another blender, vacuum cleaner or oven toaster. Money of course will be very much appreciated but it would deem to impersonal.

Giving gifts to the couple is part of the traditions on wedding. Your gift symbolizes your good will towards the couple. It represents your wish for them to have a happy life together.

Of course, your first consideration when buying wedding gift is durability. You would want to give a gift that would last a long time. But of course you would  also want a gift that is individual and would reflect your personality. A gift that the couple will remember is from you because of its uniqueness. This means the wedding gift you should give should make a lasting impression about you.

Below are several unique gift ideas that will surely make you unforgettable with the couple.

Jewelry

Jewelry is a very “safe” yet unique wedding gift especially for the bride. We all know that most women love jewelry and the bride would simply be happy upon seeing your gift of jewelry. The bride will be definitely be surprised and fascinated when she open your gift. Choose simple yet very elegant pieces like brooch pins, hairpins, earrings, pendants, chains, necklaces and bracelets. If you have the money and if the bride really matters to you (a sister, best friend, etc.) then of course you could give her diamonds. You could also include an elegant jewelry box along with your jewelry gift.

Bags

Again, this will be another hit with the bride. Next to jewelry, shoes and bags delight women You can give her a beautiful and exquisite evening bag or hand bag. If your want something smaller then give her a clutch bag. You could also put a small make up kit inside.

Gift ideas for the groom

Of course you shouldn’t forget the groom. They say that it is easier to give gifts to men because and it could be true. Some ideal gifts for grooms include writ and pocket watches, ties and tiepins, gold, silver or diamond studded cuff-links. You could also give the groom formal suits and shirts. You could also consider his hobby. Give him a musical instrument like a guitar or drums if he is into music or a set of golf clubs, basketball or baseball set if he is into sports.

Naughty items

Naughty items found in most novelty shops like naughty t-shirts, hast, caps, wedding night kits, underwear are always a hit with couples. However, be sure that you know the bride and groom very well before considering buying such items for them. Naughty items may seem impolite and offensive to some individuals.

Artwork

Paintings and sculptures are very ideal as wedding gifts. They are also very practical since the couple can use them to beautify their future home. Just be sure that you know the preference of the couple when it comes to art or else your gift would simply lie around in the garage of attic.

Personalized items

You could give the couple personal items like photo albums, pillows and pillow cases, photo frames, wedding plates, etc. There are many companies specializing in personalizing different things so for sure you wouldn’t have a hard time looking.  One worth looking at is become-a-lord.co.uk where you can get a jointly personalized certificate giving ownership of two plots of land in Romantic Scotland and title certificates confirming they are Lord and Lady.

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Obviously we have to start with a romantic well thought out marriage proposal that is probably all too common with the man being too nervous to get the words fully right. Moving on we all know children can be very funny when they come out with some straight forward sensible things which we did not think about in advance.

The Really Big Question

For months Bill had been Lynn’s devoted admirer.  At long last he had collected sufficient courage to ask her the momentous question.

“There are quite a lot of advantages to being a bachelor,”   Bill began, “but there comes a time when one longs for the companionship of another being, a being who will regard one as perfect, as an idol; whom one can treat as one’s absolute own; who will be kind and faithful when times are hard; who will share one’s joys and sorrows.”

To his delight, Bill saw a sympathetic gleam in Lynn’s eyes.

Then she nodded in agreement, “I think it’s a wonderful idea! . . . . Can I help you pick out the puppy?”

___________

Children at Weddings

These are always good for a laugh except for the couples involved. However I am not entirely sure that this humorous story was not a true event.

The guests were all seated. The parents of the bride and groom had been escorted down the aisle and seated in the front row on their respective sides. The groomsmen were in their places. The bridesmaids had each enjoyed their moment of glory as they individually walked down the aisle and took their places opposite the groomsmen. The ring bearer was the next to enter the door to the chapel. He was adorable in his little tux, just 3 years old and the bride’s brother.

Everyone smiled as they watched him begin his trip down the aisle. Then the smiles changed to puzzled looks. As the little boy took a step, he let go of the ring cushion with his right hand, raised it in front of him curving his fingers, scratching at thin air and going, “Grrrrr”, as loud as he could.

On the next step, he held the cushion with his right hand, let go with his left, raising it in front of him with curved fingers, scratched at thin air and again went, “Grrrrr”, as loud as he could. He continued alternating hands and going, “Grrrrr”, all the way down the aisle to the alter.

The ceremony continued without a hitch. At the end, the minister couldn’t control his curiosity any longer and asked why the boy made such strange motions and sounds as he walked down the aisle.

The boy replied, “That was the only way I knew how to be a ring bear.”

See what I mean.

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At The Wedding

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”

“Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life,” her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why’s the groom wearing black?”

Another Wedding variation

The little boy attending a wedding for the first time turns to his father and asks, “Why is the bride wearing white?”

His father replies, “So that the dishwasher matches the fridge and washing machine.”

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Wedding Vows

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer: “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I’m supposed to promise to love, honour, obey and be faithful to her forever, I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.

He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

On the day of the wedding, when it came time for the grooms vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: “Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?”

The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, “Yes”, then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: “I thought we had a deal!”

The pastor put a $100 bill into the grooms hand and whispered: “She made me a better offer.”

Moral Never under-estimate the value and power of your Church Minister.

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Nobody is perfect. You aren’t likely to find someone who agrees with you all the time, buys flowers every day or always lets you win at foxy.  Hopefully though, if you follow some of this advice, you might find the guy who agrees with you most of the time, buys flowers and lets you win pretty often! Good luck!

However we would also advise you not to take the pointers too seriously and look for love and feelings when shopping for a husband you could come up with a real bargain basement offer that is just right for you.

A Mother’s Advice to Her Daughter

1.     Don’t imagine you can change a man – unless he’s in diapers.

2.     What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.

3.     If they put a man on the moon – they should be able to put them all up there.

4.     Never let your man’s mind wander – it’s too little to be out alone.

5.     Go for younger men. You might as well – they never mature anyway.

6.     Men are all the same – they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7.     Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8.     Women don’t make fools of men – most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9.     Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.

10.   Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11.    If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12.     The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.

13.     If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14.     Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15.     Sadly, all men are created equal…

____________________________

Husband Shopping Center

A Husband Shopping Center has opened in Atlanta where a woman can go to choose from among many men to be her husband.

It is laid out in five floors with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascend. However, there is a catch.
You’re only allowed in once. Once you open the door to any floor you must choose a man from that floor.

If you go up a floor you can’t go back down except to exit the building. So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door says: Floor 1: These men have jobs and love kids. The woman reads the sign. “Well, that’s better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what’s further up?” So up she goes.

The second floor sign says: Floor 2: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good-looking. “Hmmm, better,” says the woman. “But I wonder what’s further up?”

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, and help with the housework. “Wow,” says the woman, “very tempting. BUT, there’s more further up!”

And so again, she goes up.

On the fourth floor the sign reads: Floor 4: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak “Oh, mercy me.” (That’s how women talk in Georgia) “But just think, that must be awaiting me further up?” So up to the fifth floor she goes.

The sign on that door says: Floor 5: This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping.

Have a nice day!
_____________________________

Rules For Women Written By Men

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us crying about you leaving it down.
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
4. Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides Let it be.
5. Don’t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you’re stuck with her.
6. Crying is blackmail.
7. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
8. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
9. Most guys own three pairs of shoes – tops. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
10. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
11. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
12. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
13. Check your oil! Please.
14. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
15. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
16. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
17. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
18. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
19. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
20. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
21. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
22. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea what mauve is.
23. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
24. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
25. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
26. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
27. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
28. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks
29. You have enough clothes.
30. You have too many shoes.
31. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it’s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn’t really matter what they’re saying anyway.)
32. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn’t matter which quiz.
33. I’m in shape. ROUND is a shape.

Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight and possibly the rest of the week, but did you know we men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping.

It almost tickled as his fingers started at her neck, and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and neck, slowly working his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttocks and down her leg to her calf. Then he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the uppermost portion of her leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side.

Then suddenly he stopped, rolled over and started watching TV.

As the wife had loved every minute of the loving and gentle touch of her husband, she asked in a gentle loving voice, “Oh sweetheart that felt so good, why did you stop?”

He replied, “I found the remote.”

I am in the middle of redesigning the whole website to make it more valuable to you. I should have added a lot more pages over the next few days and please do come back and see what we have done.

Carol and I are very excited about the change in appearance style but even more so because we have seen the information that is to be uploaded very soon just as soon as we are happy with all the design and everything is working properly.

UPDATE:
My apologies again.  Having started this redesign job we have been hit by some personal problems.   Some of you may know Carol (my wife) went through a major operation earlier this year to fix what effectively was a broken neck.  It did not go as well as expected and she is in some constant pain but also now has very little movement in her neck sideways upwards or downwards.  This has meant having to move house urgently as she can no longer cope with many of the things the rest of us all take for granted.

Having spent eighteen years working for charities campaigning for better rights for disabled people as well as providing services to support people and their families it was perhaps easier for me to understand the problems but it is still quite a shock when it strikes at home.  It is not just ability to go upstairs she can’t look down to see the stairs in front of her but other things like putting baking tins in the oven when you can’t see where your hands are increases the risk of burns.

Furthermore she was recently crossing over a road and not being able to look sideways whilst doing so meant she was hit by a car.  The injuries are not too severe but soaking up my time and she takes priority over the website at this time I am afraid.

I am however catching up and will be adding more pages very soon.

Ron and Carol. Yes she put the rose pen in here. I wish I could remember where I first found it for her.

Dear Friends,

Let me be among the first to congratulate you on your coming marriage. I’m sure your wedding day will be nothing short of amazingly romantic and smoothly run.

I can say that with confidence because you are reading our Be Romantic website and that means you are looking for your wedding day to become the most romantic occasion and one that every guest will think about for years to come. Reading this web page now means you are only a few minutes away from learning the best possible way to make your big day an event to remember for a lifetime.

Weddings should be wonderful. I know in your mind it will already rank as being among the most special of occasions for you both. There’s nothing as heartwarming and meaningful as watching two people in love (of whatever age) share their appreciation along with their love and devotion for one another. There’s something so precious and beautiful about their willingness to share those feelings with friends and loved ones, too.

Explore our romantic wedding site and take some information from it to help plan your wedding. if you see anything we have missed please do share it with the rest of the world through us use the comment box below or click on the box on the right about writing for us.